This particular journal is a little over a year old (allthough I have other journals that go back as far as 2001), so it's pretty interesting to go back and see what was going on in my life this day last year. I could have done that with the other journals, but this is the only journal I have kept friends only - all of the rest I have made completely private. So yeah... I went back a year ago today...
A year ago today in my journal...Crazy, I still vivdly remember that dream. Looking back on it, it is pretty symbolic. Wow, I was making $17/hr... and now I make $10, that's a little more than half. How sad. Oh well, it is all part of God's plan. I was miserable at the hospital.
Speaking of miserable jobs, I worked at a different branch of my bank today (helping out, all the Santa Maria branches alternate and share Saturdays, only 1 SM branch is open Saturday). Well... today was my Saturday to work, and my first. It was absolutely
miserable. The staff and management there are
horrible, and everything is so disorganized. I felt like I was at an entirely different bank. I had a panic attack, because the line was out the door and my computer started freaking out and I didnt know how to fix it and
nobody would help me - not even the supervisor. The just kept yelling at me from across the room to "restart", but the computer wouldn't let me restart. It was horrible. As the other tellers were hassling me to hurry up so that I could help the people in line, I panicked and put my head on the counter and just cried for a good 10 minutes - until finally one of the girls who also didnt work at that branch came over to help me. My co-workers from my branch told me it was going to be hell, but I didn't think it would be
this bad.
It's okay, I learned a valuable lesson from this:
I love my co-workers. I love my branch, and I love my supervisors: the are so helpful and understanding and wonderful. I have never worked in such a positive environment with such positive people. Everyone is so sweet and helpful - and everyone leaves their bitterness and problems at home. I love my staff, and will never ever take that for granted after today! I swear I just want to go in on Monday morning and give everyone a hig and tell them how much I love them haha.
I'm glad I keep a journal. I have a psych appointment in an hour, and usually when I have psych appointments I am just not in an expressive mood or whatever. I usually can't think of anything to say unless I am caught at a time where I have like a knife to myself or something. I'm thinking of just bringing my laptop and reading things off my journal, because here I have all my emotions captured when they are happening - kind of like a photograph of my mind.
Oh, I kinda got "adopted" into a second job - so that is exciting... at the sports arena where I skate. I hang out there so much, and they need a new person and I was there so I applied and they said im pretty much in. I know I am in, I know the owners of the arena well and all their kids. So yeah, it will be pretty fly to get paid to skate. I will be a skate guard, just basically picking little kids off of the floor when they fall and asking them if they are okay haha. Yeah, this will be my "fun job". Haha so now I can say I work 2 jobs and go to school, that makes me sound ambitious dosen't it. Too bad I'm not.
I'm really excited about tomorrow, I'm doing more pictures with Mark! I have a feeling these are going to be amazing, now that I know what its like to model... I'm not so nervous about the whole thing like I was my first time. Mark has some really good ideas too, so I am really excited. Yeah.
Oh, and Kaleo is a fucktard. He won't even acknowledge me. I left him a simple comment on his myspace saying hi, and he never acknowledged me. It's cool though, he replies to everyone else that leaves him comments. Seriously, if anyone can tell me why he won't reply to my gay comment and he replies to everyone elses' I'd
love to know the damn answer.